Thursday, December 31, 2009

my first video :D

Note: This video is related to my previous post.


And yes, you can view this video in my Facebook too. :D

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


What I dislike about events in UIA is mostly regarding the time of events. Sometimes two or three events held at the same day, same time. And they are all interesting! So, which way to go?

For instance, this night, that is yesterday night (Wed, 30Dec) two appealing events took place.

Forum 'Rejuvenating Science & Technology in Islam' in conjunction with Islamic Science & Technology Week 2009 organised by MRC

The support from UIA students was tremendous. From the brothers side, too. I was kinda amazed by the number of brothers turned up for the event. Wellwellwell, they do have interest after all...

Hm.. the forum was okay. But as most of the forums held here, the crisis was always about the time. Again! The moderator gently reminded the 3 panels on obeying the given time for the round respectively, that was 10-15 mins per person. But as time passed by, 5 after 10 and then 15 minutes... the panel could not seem to stop. The other panels looked tensed and uptight, drank the water, scratched the head and shifted positions few times and at last, the message passed through the panel who was speaking that time.

I think the organising committee should think of a way to put a stop to this common attitude of the VIPs. Obviously, we should respect them, they're the highly respectable and powerful people. So why dont we use the reverse psychology then?

Put a giant stopwatch at the back of the hall maybe? Or an alarm clock that rings every 10minutes? A large high-pitched bell or a round, huge gong perhaps?

Nevertheless, many inputs and useful information that the panels mentioned in the forum. It was an A-okay forum. But we didn't stay long in the AMF Hall as we got other commitment someplace else. :D

Now, now... the second most awaited event was.....

Closing Ceremony of Global Awareness Campaign organised by Culture & Art Club with Red Crescent Society

By the time we entered Lecture Hall, Ustaz Nazri was giving the tazkirah. 10.20pm. Some multimedia presentations and reading the news on Palestine issues.

Then there came ETIKA.

Only three of them performed, and FYI, the guy in the middle is our former junior schoolmate. Syauqi, if I'm not mistaken. His name starts with an S, that's for sure. Shahid or Salleh or Suparjo, seriously I cant remember. From SMART Kuantan. What a small, small world we live in. We both bet he's an engineering student. I mean, duh. A glimpse of look at him and you can tell.

If not, what? A Nursing student? Medic? Come on, lah... AED or ICT, perhaps..

Enuff said already. ETIKA is an awesome nasyeed group, their vocals are super. If they release an album, I'll be the first to buy it. Err.. exaggerating is in process. Please tell this blog owner to stop. :D

After all, the reason being we came to the lecture hall was only for the nasyeed performance. Opsss~~ :D

Thursday, December 24, 2009


I spent two days of my holiday period in the hospital. Yes. REAL Hospital with a capital H.

No. Not an educational trip. Not a monthly visit either. Definitely not for fun and '
suke-suke' purpose. So, what's left?

You know what? I WAS SICK.

Oh. So YOU dont know?

I SEE...

Wait up, should I tell ya guys about that? Hmm.. I dont think so.

I made up my mind already. I REFUSE to tell YOU about it.

So?? Out of this page this instant please!! Geee. Dont understand English, ah???

Okay. Fine. If YOU insist.

To set the record straight, its my SISTER who got sick. NOT ME. I was just twisting with the words metaphorically. I got sick the time I knew my sister was sick. Got it? :D
She's only 10 and she suffered from appendicitis. Acute appendicitis. Let's ask the help of Mr.Google to translate the meaning of this ap-pen-dee-whichever-that-name-is. I hate to ask for Mr.Wiki's help because of his use of extravagant-medical-terminologies in which I find it difficult to understand.

1. Definition: Appendicitis is an inflammation of the appendix, which is the worm-shaped pouch attached to the cecum, the beginning of the large intestine. The appendix has no known function in the body, but it can become diseased. It is a medical emergency, and if it is left untreated the appendix may rupture and cause a potentially fatal infection. Appendicitis is the most common abdominal emergency found in children and young adults. One person in 15 develops appendicitis in his or her lifetime.

2. Causes: The causese are not well understood, but it is believed to occur as a result of one or more of these factors: an obstruction within the appendix, the development of an ulceration (an abnormal change in tissue accompanied by the death of cells) within the appendix, and the invasion of bacteria.

3. Symptoms: Pain beginning around or above the navel. The pain, which may be severe or only achy and uncomfortable, eventually moves into the right lower corner of the abdomen. There, it becomes more steady and more severe, and often increases with movement, coughing, and so forth. Loss of appetite, nausea and vomiting may occur.

4. Treatments: Immediate appendectomy: opening the abdomen in the standard open appendectomy technique or Laparoscopy: a smaller incision is made through the navel.

5. Prevention: Appendicitis is probably not preventable, although there is some indication that a diet high in green vegetables and tomatoes may help prevent appendicitis.

So now, make way for me to tell a story. It begins with a child (my sister, Izzah) complained about her stomachache one night. She mentioned the pain was on the centre, upper part of her abdomen. Due to her gastric problem she always had, my dad prescribed her the usual medicine she used to take. But the pain kept bothering her for few days. And it became two weeks. The pain then moves to other parts of her abdomen. It was on the lower right near her navel.

My mom became worried and urged my dad to bring her to Kuantan Specialist for diagnosis. It was Thursday, 10am.

Turned out it really was Appendicitis. As my dad has a close contact with the officers there, my sister was then scheduled for a laparoscopy surgery in the afternoon. I was at home, taking care of my other siblings when I got hold of the news. God, I was very, very nervous. At 4pm, the surgery ended. And she had to stay overnight in the hospital.

Our former plan was for my dad and mom stayed in the hospital to accompany my sister. But then, me and my sisters will be left all alone at home. Plus, my dad had to go somewhere else the day after. In the end, my mom was to be the only one staying with my sister that night.

I just felt the need to offer my help to stay with my mom and sister. I dont know why, but I did. So my mom said Yes and I packed my clothes.

My dad fetched us at home and all of us paid Izzah a dearly visit that evening.

We were waiting for the 'break fast' time when the TV displayed the overwhelming news on the Malaysia's football team Under-23 who won the Laos SEA Games.

The adorable and omg...... the twins!! :D

The excitement of them winning the game made me forgot somehow that I was in the room with my sick sister. And I was supposed to control the emotion. Seeing my sister was still "alive-and-kicking" was a relief and I did not feel the need to grief no more. So, I took the time to fool around, to lighten up everybody's mood that evening.

Syakirah, 13 my taller-than-me younger sister

Jehan, 16 and an unknown human being :D

At 7.15 we break the fast. As my sister had to stay overnight, we had to find a suitable spot to crash. The room my sister was placed was a small room shared together with one other patient. So my daddy asked for a single room. And we got it.

Inside, it's more spacious and comfy

It was 9pm and they had to go back home. Jehan and Syakirah got other commitments the day after, same went to my dad. My dad will sleep with Adlin that night, my mom said. But the problem was that....


Oh. My. God.

I was like, WHAAAAAAATTT???

Great. I got exams when the holiday's over and I got stuck with this kid in the darn HOSPITAL room! What a quality time spent during my last few days of holiday.

My dad returned with blankets, extra pillows, biscuits and Adlin's clothes. My mom slept with Adlin on the floor.

I chose the comfy couch to land my body on. Practically I had to sleep with my two legs dangled over the other side of the couch. I am short and now you can imagine how comfy the couch really was.

It was 12.30am and I was still wide awake. Back-ache. Ouch.


Friday, 1 Muharram 1431H

Adlin carried out her ritual routine - annoying people

Morning exercise

She saw the Cocopie ad on TV and demanded for one, begging me to go downstairs and buy it. I hate you, Mila AF.

Please be alert if you see this kid wandering around the neighborhood. She has the potential to harm you. Just. Be extra careful. :D

At 4pm after my dad settled his business, we checked out from the hospital. On our way back home, I heard my parents complaining about the inefficient service provided by the attendants in the hospital. I was too tired to comment.

As Sunday arrived, I did not feel like going back to the campus. The tension. The sorrow. The exam. The books.

Holiday in Hospital, what more can I say?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


My youngest sister is now fast asleep. If months ago I had to sing the Nursery Rhymes to lull her to sleep, now I don’t have to. My magic sentences are, “Alin kan dah 5 years old, dah big kan. Budak big tak payah ulik, die tido sendiri...” Even though she’s not 5 until next year, white lie doesnt hurt her. Now everybody can have some rest peacefully.

This morning, my mom left me with a message before going out with Auntie Nisah, my neighbor-next-door. “Ain, nanti masak kuetiau (kuey tiow?) goreng untuk adik. Bawang putih 2, telur pastu kuetiau.." With that, she left.

I remained with my four younger sisters. Weighing the decision between kuetiau and computer, I decided to do the cooking then facebooking. So I put my best ‘chef’ face on and went to the kitchen. Cloves of garlic. Check. Left-over kuetiau. Check. Soy sauce. Eggs. Salt. Perencah Ana. Check. Cooking oil. Check. Let the flames on!

After few minutes fighting the battle, the dish was now ready. Hmm, it looked undeniably tasty, innit? Haha. I know, it didnt look inviting at all but hey, we were always taught not to judge a meal by its appearance, aite? :D

My version of kuetiau. Trust me; this kuetiau has neither undesirable nor detrimental side-effects. I poured too much soy sauce, that’s all.

So I presented the dish to my sisters, 9-year-old Izzah and 4-year-old Adlin. God, how tricky it was to persuade them to taste the kuetiau. Izzah had a few mouthfuls of it but then stopped due to her stomach-ache. Totally not because of my kuetiau, mind ya. As for Adlin’s case, she demanded for her telur kacau-kacau (my version of scrambled eggs) and refused to eat the kuetiau. Then I told her, it’s either the kuetiau or no-food-at-all. I worked my ass up just to make the kuetiau and suddenly, she simply rejected it? No way.

It was not until an hour later, she insisted I fed her the kuetiau. Ha, tau pun lapar.. Now that she savoured my kuetiau, she couldn’t seem to stop eating. She even ate it by herself! Haha. That’s a clear prove that I can definitely cook a delicious meal! Yay me! :D

See? See? Told ya. It really was yum-tastic. p/s: no one was harmed when this image was taken.

My second task was to bath Adlin. God knows how tensed I was when I had to divert her attention from the television to me. She was watching Hagemaru on Astro Ceria and obviously, I was pretty much invisible to her at that time. When I asked her to move, “Kejap lagi. Lepas abis Hagemaru..”, she said without even looking at me. Then the next show: Crime Time was on the TV. Again she said, “Lepas abis cite ni la..” I had to make pinky promise just to ensure she kept her words. By then, I dragged her all the way to the bathroom by threatening her with alin-dah-janji-tadi-nanti-masuk-api-neraka words of wisdom. Amazingly, it works every time.

To take a shower with her was another pain-in-the-ass routine. I had to go for the fresh cold-shower as she dominated the pleasant hot-shower. Basically, when you have a bath with a 4-year-old-kiddo, you have to sacrifice one thing: your body. Don’t take it the wrong way, I meant it literally. At time when I had my face dubbed with cleanser, I had water sprayed all over my face; ruining all the effort. At time when I brushed my teeth, again the hot water was aimed directly at my face. At time I squatted to lather my body with the shower gel, two tiny hands messed up with my hair. “Ha, buat macam ni barulah jadi macam princess...Haishhh, whichever la budak..

After the sisters-great-moment-of-bathing ended, I shooed her out of the bathroom to dry up and get the clothes on. I had the room for myself, finally.

Only by few minutes, unfortunately. It looked like after she got dressed, she made her mind up to pay me a visit. BANG! BANG! BANG! she hit the bathroom door with her two little hands, asking me what I was doing so long in the toilet. God, how annoying was that. She later turned the light off. I shrieked loudly and I heard her scurried away, giggling.

That was just a small part of the stories of me living under the same roof with that teeny trouble-maker. It didn’t count the occasion related to her ‘royal’ requests on the food. She does not like wet plate and glass, I have to wipe them up. She orders telur kacau-kacau like every day, I have to prepare it. She asked for Chocoholic donut in East Coast Mall, I have to buy it. She selects which food she wants, I have to be patient. She likes hot and fresh meals, I have to bear.

Not to mention my study-time which almost doesn’t exist, she was to be blamed. When I was about to leaf through the first page of my BTQ book, she came around, asking, “Haishh.. bile kak ain nak habis belajar ni.. Alin tak tau nak buat ape ni..” Then I asked her to watch the TV. She got out of the room, watching Astro Ceria only then returned, asking the same question again. She squeezed her butt on the chair I was sitting and grabbed my pink camera on the table. She chatted nonstop and I got no other option than to speak back.

I am still clueless on how that kid got so many ideas to talk and keep talking.

God, how I adore her :D

Saturday, December 12, 2009

great escape

My second time having a flight back to my hometown, Kuantan was pretty okay. Not that I am the so-confident-and-all-brave type of girl, but the journey was a fun adventure, actually. Well, considering the fact that I'm restrained to stand on my own feet in my hometown, its quite a self-satisying experience to breathe some fresh air in the big city for a while. Mind you, my mom hardly give me the 'green light' to go anywhere by myself back home in my place. So the taste of freedom was mind-blowing. pardon my exaggerated use of expression words there. :D

My father booked a one-way ticket to Kuantan, from Kuala Lumpur. Yesterday, I took off at 2pm. God, I forgot there was the Friday prayer. I usually dont go out of the college around that time because I have to walk pass the men coming out of the mosque after they perform the prayer. And I seriously hate that. But yesterday, I got no other choice. I was pre-occupied with other thing that morning. Blame the Facebook.

I reached the Kl Sentral terminal around 2.20pm. My flight was at 6.05pm. So I strutted along the way to the KLIA Transit's ticket counter to get the train to the KLIA airport. I put my paperbag down and asked for the ticket, "KLIA?" Then the abang said, "KLIA Airport?" I smiled and nodded. "Ohh, kalau nak gi airport, baik naik KLIA express. Lagi cepat. Tak ade transit2 pun. Naik KLIA express laju je, terus sampai airport," he explained with the complete hand gesture up and down. So I understood. Very well, KLIA express then. He then pointed at me with his thumb and asked, "Airport staff, eh??" I was like, "OMG am I being mistaken for an airport staff?? ME?? ME?? Tsk, I am truly honoured!" I pretended to be a bit shocked over the question and then smiled sheepishly, "Eh taklah...". He then gestured me to the KLIA express counter to get the ticket, going through the explanation again. I thanked him and started to walk back, pondering about the fact that I will never gonna be an airport staff, let alone a flight attendant on the airplane. Geez, an airport staff indeed. :D

Hmm, cozy seat to sit and sleep. But I was too busy scanning the panorama out of the window that I seemed could not get my butt out of the seat when the train stopped at KLIA. Double-checked my boarding pass I got from the check-in counter in Kl Sentral just now, I took the elevator to the 5th floor - DEPARTURE.

4.30pm I prayed. After that then I went to pay a visit to the ladies. Thee hee, a must-go place for a lady before going onboard. In my case, it's a fine place to....
lookie lookie, a disqualified airport staff was getting her picture taken... in the ladies. what a place to pose. why, you sure had a weird way of letting out the frustration.. :D

I went out and saw Kentucky Fried Chicken. Hmm, it was 5pm. Another 35mins to check in. So I ordered a set of KFC Meltz, Milo and Cheezy Wedges. Felt out-of-place for not having a (girl/boy)friend for my early dinner, I turned my laptop on and started to think of something to do. Something to waste the precious time.

What an empty feeling, had a meal with no company but the laptop. Remind me not to do it again. First, the hollow feeling. Second, the public stare. One of the embarassing moments I had in my life. But then, I got myself a valuable lesson that day: If you dont want people to look at your way, dont look at THEM. Mind you, I learned that through a hard way. So, be grateful.

A picture collage I made while savouring the Cheezy Wedges. Right finger licked, left finger on the laptop. The cycle continued and I hated the outcome. Not that I hated the image, but the watermark above it! God, I forgot that the software I used was only a trial version. Frustrating. Exhausting. Hating myself.

By 5.40 I packed up and left for the B5 gate. Went inside the plane, I looked for my seat. 26F. So I found it. Only to find a Chinese guy by my age to sit in my place. By the window! To his left, an empty seat. Right next to it sat an Indian man around 40s, reading The Star. So??

Off to the middle then! I asked the uncle to pass through and got to my seat. Not my my seat, but my-only-seat seat. Well, you know what I meant. What, you expect me to ask for a change with that Chinese guy? Hm, I definitely can do that. I actually intended to do that, but somehow I thought, "How hard it is to find a situation where I can be sit right next between two guys? And why oh why do I wanna ever change that?" Haha. Conservative thinking, I know.

Sandwiched between the two guys, I made myself comfortable by enjoying the travel magazine. The uncle to my left was still with his paper, while the college guy to my right was always glancing through the plane window. Oh, they felt uneasy for sure. And was I the only one feeling a mix of uneasiness and giddiness? Guilty pleasure, I dare say so. God, forgive me.

But my pleasure level would be on the max if I was seated between two handsome young guys. If that ever happens, I can always stay in the middle. Forever. I meant it. :D

note: the author managed to get herself out of her seat safely upon reaching the Kuantan Airport Terminal. despite having the fantasy of the hot-guys-on-plane, the author just say it literally. she has no intention of causing any good-looking guys to track her airplane seat just to sit right next to her. it is highly encouraged, but no thanks. she'd rather left it to Mr.Destiny.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009


I am overwhelmed with pure JOY! When i read The Star yesterday, I came across this advertisement. A cute one, in fact. Check this out.

No, you are looking at the wrong ad. Not the oh-so-gorgeous-TVXQ-image on the left, but the Alvin & The Chipmunks 2 on the right! Haha. Gotcha. I put that on for distraction purpose. :D Now you're distracted, please keep on drooling over their handsome faces and stop reading my post. Haha.

I was talking about the 'Get A Free Diary With Any Purchase Above RM30' ad. With any purchase of RM30 above (in a single receipt) in Big Apple Donuts, you'll get a FREE Alvin & The Chipmunks Diary!! Limited stocks only! As you can see, I was practically grinning from ear to ear as my mind worked up a plan. A GREAT PLAN.

Today is Tuesday. I just came back from MidValley Megamall. Know what I did for the last two hours? Here's the story...

4.50pm: I reached Pak Guard's station near the main gate. I asked him, "Pakcik, bleh kuar g pasar malam kul bape?" He said, "Pukul 5." So it was fine by me. I already knew that, actually. I was there just to make him let me go out early. Hehe. After standing there for about 5mins and maybe he was tired of seeing me waiting, so he let me pass. at 4.55pm. Not 5. There you go, my first plan worked out fine so far.

So I stopped a taxi and got a ride to MidValley. Upon reaching the North Wing, I rushed to the Big Apple Donuts & Coffee outlet in the Lower Ground. I got the list out and began to order. Alien... Only that there's no Alien in sight. So I purposely asked the kakak there if they have Alien's Donut, even though I was well aware that the donuts were not ready yet. I said to her I want 8. So she discussed something with the donut-maker in the back and said to me, "Wait a sec.". YESS!!! So I got THE ALIENS!!! My second plan was a success.

Basically, my eight Aliens were baked fresh from the oven!! Haha. You can practically see the dark chocolate ribbons still wet on top of the donut. The tenderness of the dough and the amazing aroma tickled my sense. Hmm yummy. Err okay, now wipe that saliva of yours. I'd like to continue my story.

Here's a sneak peak of the donuts I bought. The total of 18 donuts. Hey hey hey, not that I intended to eat 'em all up, I took my friends' order, lah. They thanked me for bringing the donuts but I am the one who's supposed to thank them. Know why?

Tadaaa!! I got a total purchase of RM35 and above in a single receipt! Know what that means??

Jeng jeng jeng!! The ALVIN'S DIARY!! Oh God, I was on Cloud Nine, no, make it Cloud Ten, Eleven whichever. The image was taken in the taxi on my way back to UIA. The pakcik taxi must be confused seeing me smiling all the way. I'm alright, pakcik. No worries.

And the best part is that, the Donut Box has Alvin&TheGang on it! OMG so cute! :D Their new match in part 2 was the female trio, The Chipettes. They're cute too! :D

So, I got back with a satisfied feeling. I havent mention about the diary to my friends. They will think that I was using them to get the diary. Was I? If I calculated it right, I got the diary NOT for free, but for RM15. The total fare to MidVal and came back to UIA. But it's okay, I dont really care about that actually. What's important is... I am now a proud owner of the DIARY!! Muahahaha.

Thanks to my friends: Nur 'Ayunni, Nurfatin, Nur Farah Izzati, Farizah, Syazwani and Farah Farhanah. You guys really made my day. FYI, I know. I can be silly sometimes. No, most of the times. Thanks for being a friend to this silly lass. If you guys wanna see the diary, roger me. :D

Alvin and The Chipmunks 2 will be out in cinemas on December 24, so dont forget to watch it yo! But, go get your diary first!! :D

Monday, December 07, 2009

oh friend!!!

Setting: IIUM PJ, Library

Time: 11.15am

As I rarely touch a religious non-fiction book before, personally I felt weird holding a book entitled ‘Islamic Manners’ by S.M.Madni Abbas. Just because I’m a born-Muslim does not mean that the Islamic knowledge comes naturally, I noted that to myself. I have to earn it myself, either by looking, listening or reading. So I leafed through the contents and moved to page 142, Chapter 18: The Etiquettes of Friendship.

Now it was getting weirder(such word exist?) as I was reading on how to be a good friend! Am I not good enough? As I could not answer it myself, so I began to read.

“Friendship is a test. When a person moves in the circle of his friend, very often he comes across difficult and unpleasant situations: sometimes his sentiments are hurt: at other times his dignity is damaged: at times his rest is disturbed and his routine is affected: or he has to face things which are contrary to his desires and inclinations: and still at other times his patience and forbearance is put on trial or he has to suffer financial loss. In short, he suffers a number of difficulties and torments. But when such a person puts up with these ordeals, his heart is galvanised, noble sentiments are generated and he passes through a process of self-purification and spiritual development and attains greater spiritual and moral heights”.

The unease feeling was replaced with clarity as I acknowledged the truth behind those sentences. Fair to say, I do feel disturbed by the fact that sometimes I felt annoyed with my friends’ actions and words. And as always, I had to keep the anger buried. It was tiring. Really.

There were moments when I had to exercise ‘extra-patience’ when dealing with them. Maybe due to different upbringing and background, we always differ in opinions. Most of them do not know that I have two ‘personal rules’ that I hate to impose cuz if I do tell them, they’ll be very cautious and feel restricted to be with me. So as always, I hid them from public knowledge. Now that we are talking about this matter, I’ll let you know:


1. DO not mess with ANY of my personal belongings.

2. Do not take MY things without MY permission.

As simple as the rules might be, I just cannot help myself when it comes to MY THINGS. Backbiting I can tolerate, Sharing I can do, Bad jokes I can hear, Criticism I can bear, Low morale I can stand but MY PERSONAL BELONGINGS dont make into the lists. Now you have to bear with me.

Back to the book, I continue to read the lines and met these sentences:

Confession of love to the friend. If one loves a friend for the sake of Allah, he should tell him so. The Holy Prophet SAW said, “When a person harbours sentiments of love and affection for his brother, he should express them before him, and tell him that he loves him” (Abu Dand)

Now this part is kinda tough. Well, it might seem a little awkward to tell my girlfriend, “Hey, I love you for the sake of Allah.” Not to mention the ‘reaction feedbacks’ and ‘hilarious comments’ I will receive afterwards. I just dont have the courage to do so. Yet.

I am pretty sure that most of us have heard about this comparison:

“The examples of good and bad friends are like those of a musk-seller and blacksmith. From the musk-seller you are bound to gain something. Either you’ll buy his musk or enjoys its good smell. But the foundry of the blacksmith would only burn your house or clothes or its unpleasant fume will harm your brain". (Bukhari; Muslim)

“Each of you is like a mirror for his brother. If he sees something ill in his brother, he should try to dispel it” (Tirmizi)

Now there’s another problem. I see lots of ill-manners but I am not guided by Allah to point out the flaws openly. The dire consequences of my act (if I correct them) scared the h**l out of me. Come to think of it, will my good friend still be a good friend of mine if I ask her to stop doing the action that is against the Islamic teachings in which she practically sees NO harm in doing so? So I surrender.

Just in case that this post might disturb your thoughts, I seek for forgiveness. The Holy Prophet SAW has said, “A Muslim who refuses to accept pardon from his brother, is equal in sin like collector of illegal taxes.” So you have no other choice but to forgive me. But if you dont mind being an illegal tax collector, then do ignore my pardon. :D

I might not being a good friend, but consider yourself lucky to have a friend who is well-aware of the etiquettes of friendship.... that is ME. Duh.

Count me out, do YOU appoint yourself as a GOOD friend? You too have rules of your own? Care to share?? :D