Thursday, December 23, 2010

Harmless Crush

Nota: Entri ni tak ada sebarang pengajaran atau kata-kata nasihat untuk renungan bersama. Kepada sesiapa yang ada perkara lain yang lebih penting untuk dilakukan, sila sambung kembali kerja anda. Terima kasih.

Okay. Yang dah tak ada kerja sangat nak buat sekarang ni, meh la sini dengar cerita aku. Al maklumlah, bukan selalu aku nak duduk menghadap laptop ni mengarang kisah hidup aku untuk tatapan korang kan.

Al kisahnya, ada lah seorang abang MLT (Medical Lab Technologist) dekat KOM ni yang selalu jadi buah tangan mulut aku dan kawan-kawan aku. Mana tak nya, abang tu memang sempoi giler kot. Nampak je garang tapi amat lah berkarisma. Bayangkan, dia still lagi boleh explain pasal prosedur experiment dengan yakinnya, even though time tu aku and beberapa orang sisters semua berdiri keliling pinggang dia. Nak dengar explanation dia lah, bukan nak menggatal okay.

Aku memang tabik spring lah dekat abang ni. Kadang kadang tu dia sempat buat lawak lagi time kitorang tengah buat praktikal. Ingat lagi time aku dengan Sally (bukan nama sebenar) tengah buat Praktikal Immunoprecipitation. Kitorang diberikan satu plate yang penuh dengan lubang2 kecil (wells) untuk diisi dengan specimens.

Nak dijadikan cerita, kitorang accidentally termasuk reagent yang salah ke dalam wells tu, and then after realising our stupid mistake, mula lah dah gelabah masing2. Aku pun dah cuak dah. Yang si Sally ni pulak pegi tanya Abang tu, macam mana nak buat kalau dah tersilap. Boleh ke nak buang and basuh wells tu, pastu isi semula dengan specimen yang betul? Abang tu plak kata biarlah kalau dah tersilap, sambung je sampai habis. Sally tanya abang tu, boleh tak kalau kitorang nak plate yang baru. Pastu abang tu kata,

"Plate tu harga dia rm200 lebih satu tau. Kitorang tempah khas tu. So kalau dah silap, memang tak boleh nak buat apa lah"

Kitorang tergamam sekejap. Whoahh mahal giler kott.

Sejak daripada first Immune Practical tu, abang tu selalu lah datang melawat Table kitorang. Nak make sure aku dengan Sally tak ade buat silap lagi lah tu. Hmmphh.

Pastu, time ELISA Practical tadi, aku dengan Sally tengah lah sibuk2 nak masukkan Substrate Reagent dalam assay wells kitorang tau, abang tu datang tengok2. Kitorang pun buat bodoh je lah kan, sebab memang abang tu suka lepak2 kat situ, explain benda2 yang kitorang tak paham. Lagipun, Sally lah yang suka bertanya soalan kat abang tu, aku sibuk tumpang dengar je.

Time nak pipette reagent tu, Sally pun tanya aku, "Eh, kita buat sekali terus lah untuk isi semua wells ni eh?"

Aku pulak time tu tak berapa sure nak jawab. Aku cakap, "Emm boleh kot, sebab ni reagent yang sama je kan, so boleh kot.."

Sally pun tanya aku lagi, "Eh boleh kan? Boleh kan?"

Tup tup abang tu pulak yang mencelah, "Tu ha, tanya Pah tu, dia tahu tu..."

Aku terkejut. Aku toleh dekat abang tu. Nampak dia tengah senyum.

Aku pandang Sally. Kitorang senyum.

Aku yang tengah pegang plate tu mula dah hilang fokus. Apa tak nya, first time kot abang tu panggil nama aku. Berbunga-bunga riang la sikit hati aku. Okay semua orang sila muntah sekarang.

Abang tu tak abis2 lagi nak sebut nama aku, "Pah, pegang elok2, jangan menggigil gigil, tu nanti kang tumpah pulak.."

Aku tahan senyum

Kontrol ayu.

Waaahhhhh Abang tu tau nama aku! Abang tu tau nama aku!! OMG OMG

Aku rasa nak pengsan.

Bila abang tu dah pegi kat Table lain, aku bisik kat Sally, "Eh, macam mana abang tu boleh tau nama aku ha?"

Balik2 bilik, aku terus semak Jadual. Ohhh. Tadi tu merupakan Lab terakhir kitorang bersama buat Praktikal dengan abang tu. Immunoprecipitation, Immunoagglutination, Immunofluorescence dengan Enzyme Immunoassay (ELISA).

Oh Tidakkk. Dah tak dapat jumpa abang tu lagi dah. Tiba-tiba rasa sedih pulak.

Mana tak nya. Even nama abang tu pun aku tak tau. Sedih tak?

Ohohoho korang jangan start nak buat gossip bukan2 pulak ye. Aku dengan abang tu takde ape2 okehh. Setakat suka2 macam tu, biasa lah. Orang perempuan lah katakan. Gedik2 sikit tu normal lah. Sikit je okay, bukan gedik yang melampau tahap cipan sampai semua lelaki dia nak goda. Okay, teremo lebih di situ.

Lagipun, marah isteri dia nanti. Oh yeah, dia dah ada isteri lah, entah2 da ada anak punn..

Ahhh. Mood aku dah hilang. Bye.

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Expectation

Whoaa. The Haemoglobin Seminar Group sure gave us all a fantastic presentation. Apart from their plain-Haemo title, they managed to deliver it quite brilliantly. And it was lovely. The outfit, I meant.

The Best Outfit Award :)
Dr Zamzila even jokingly asked them to present their topic again to the First Year Med Student - a definite proof that they have done the presentation well. Very well. Congratz guys.

So this means that the Seminar group after this group onwards will need to work extra hard to do better than this group. Yes. That.s a challenge. Because we all expect an extraordinary presentation from the Seminar members. At least the cool outfits will do.

And this also means that I need to start thinking about my group's outfit too.

Well Well Well... Look what we have here.. 
The History of Surgery. A surgeon.s uniform, maybe? Scrubs, anyone? 

Oh Okay. Maybe not this one.
No one wants a Zombie Surgeon to present a seminar.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Immune Practical

Here.s what it looked like when technology was fully applied by the students during their Immunology Lab Practical, KOM...

..where pen and paper were not even needed..

..And left them with a lot of free time.. :)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

IBS not IBD, I hope

I think I might suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)

Alternating diarrhea/constipation. Abdominal pain. Bloating.

Sometimes I feel like my small intestine is moving rapidly inside my body. The sound it makes, frightens me. It is like a long, rubber tube that has a hole on its wall, releasing the fluid out to the interstitial space. 

Waiting to explode.

Or is it merely my imagination? Is it an unnecessary fear?


Medical Student Syndrome?

Maybe because we had a PBL case of chronic diarrhea this evening, suddenly I feel like experiencing the symptoms myself. 

Is it?

What if it.s true? That contracted some kind of Bowel Disease?

What if? Argghh.

Seriously, I must do a Full Body Medical Check-Up


Monday, December 13, 2010

Got Some Time?

This is just a YouTube video that I find totally enjoyable. The guy is Shane Dawson. He.s quite a famous guy in YouTube. He made a lot of videos - most of them are just for fun.

If you need a break, then this is a good one to unwind :)

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Blogging Made Easy

...Then no one would want to start a blog.

I believe that blogs are the media for sharing thoughts and opinions.

We can get a lot of information from the blogs.

Oh. Run out of ideas? Well, that happens a lot.

Even writers and novelists have their own blocks.

No worries. As long as you write something good and thoughtful in your blog, it is counted as an idea already.

So, do I convince you enough to start your own blog? ;)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The M Word

Yesterday, we had a motivational talk in KOM.s Audi. As it was a compulsory session for all First and Second year Medic students, by hook or by crook - we had to attend it.

So let.s talk about the M Word.


It is a very very very necessary element in our life. Without motivation, we couldn.t be able to carry out our life properly. We couldn.t even find satisfaction in doing our daily chores if we don.t have motivation. We.ll be lost without it.

I believe you and I have different motivations to keep us moving in life. Be it for yourself, your parents or your special someone. Or you might have some other reasons to keep you motivated. Money. Cars. House.

You don.t have any? So find one.

Dr.Khairidzan asked us these questions:
-What is in your mind?
-What.s in it for you?
-What will happen to you?
-Where are you going with this?

I am thinking. 

Ahh. Sure tough questions, Doctor.

I am still thinking.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Dear Beloved Ummi

Please be known that your daughter is doing fine in IIUM right now. Even if it.s only few minutes drive away from home, she doesn.t feel like going home every day. Well, what more can she ask - she goes home every weekend :)

She might face some problems in her campus. Regrding her studies, relationships and some other girly stuffs. Don.t worry, she can handle them alone by herself. She.s all grown up, isn.t she?

Take the recent MiniTest as an example. She admitted that she was not prepared for the Test. She depended on the Compilation and didn.t even finish to read all the Lectures' Notes. She did the so-called 'Last Minute Study' although she very well knew that she was not supposed to do that. She.s a Medic student, for God.s sake. Now she has a bad feeling about the upcoming result. It.s not going to be good, for sure.

But she didn.t tell you about that. Because she knows you.ll be worrying sick. She knows you.ll give her piece of advice that will make her regret even more. She vows to make it up on End Block Exam this January. She intends to make you proud.

Or is there any possible way for her not to continue Medicine?

She.s kidding She.s kidding. Haha.

Just so you know, she remembers all your guidance and reminders told her before. She tries to pray on time, although sometimes she got stuck in front of her laptop for two hours straight. She tries to get up early in the morning, although sometimes she forgot to set her alarm and woke up at 11 in the morning. She tries not to play TheSims3 for too long, although sometimes she couldn.t seem to make herself stop once she pressed the 'Play' button.

She tries not to get too close to the boys, although sometimes she couldn.t help herself.  But she finally figures out - they give her too much headache.

See? She remembers your advice just fine. I believe she.ll try her best to follow them all.

As long as it makes you happy.

I know. It isn.t your birthday yet. Mothers' Day is also not around the corner. What.s with this sentimental note written specially for you?  

Oh. It.s because she.s about to accept your friend request in Facebook. That.s why.

She just want to clarify that she has nothing to hide from you. And she didn.t reject the request although she knows it very well that her Mom is going to see all her online actions - be it good or bad. But she can ensure you - she.s a good girl :)

Although it took her two days to accept the friend request, well it.s not because she didn.t want to - but she just wanna make some preparations - write a blog post to be exact.

A special blog post to celebrate your first involvement with Social Network. She bet you don.t browse through your Yahoo mail very often, that.s why this is counted as first :)

Welcome to Facebook, Ummi.

If you stumbled upon this blog, please be known that she.s still the good girl she.s always been. Still :)

With love,
Your beloved daughter

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Close Call with Death

"slm sis zen. urgent. zahin.s condition is now 50-50, cz hematoma, bleeding in brain.. we.ll hv solat hajat + yasin, 11.30am, usrah room..'

I left my newspaper on the floor, rushed to the toilet, took wudhu' and went to usrah room.

'Verily, His Command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says to it, "Be!" and it is!' (Yaasin, 36:82)

Kun Fayakun, I bet every Muslim knows that. When Allah intends to make something happens, who are we to deny it? The best we can do is to Pray to Him, hoping that everything will turn out okay. He knows what.s best for us. 

He knows it very well.

Accidents happen. All the time. Sometimes it.s not even our fault, it happens anyway. It.s inevitable. 

We see people dying around us. Too often. We see cuts, wounds and bloods. Too grim.

What is Allah trying to show to us exactly? That we are only temporary residents on His Earth? That He has every rights to take back the life that he gave to us? That we are about to face the same fate sooner or later? We are going to die, no matter how hard we fight against it?

You choose.   
Zahin.s my classmate. But I can.t seem to be able to match his name with any face in my head. Maybe because I don.t know him. Or I simply forget which one is him.

He is in the Operation Theatre for brain surgery right now. 

Zahin, please read this after had your surgery done successfully. So that you know that we are always here for you, praying for you. 

Because you are a part of Zen14.s big family.

Zahin, please be safe. I.m not ready to lose a classmate yet. Not before I get to know which one is you.

Monday, December 06, 2010


(left) Our Tour Guide Pak Cik Nan, my Dad and Me at the grocery stall, looking for desserts :)

One of many things I dislike about living in IIUM is - the limited supply of fruits sold in the Cafeterias.
Yes. I don.t like that. Full-stop.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Haram in Halal

Phuket, Thailand - Liquors are sold openly in the local stores
If I see any Convenience Stores or Mini Marts in Malaysia display the alcoholic beverages openly like that, I refuse to let myself into the stores. Not even a step.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

I.d do anything for ya :)

"Today, I get to share with you the visual companion piece to my new single, 'Grenade.' The song is about loving someone so deeply, and the pain of knowing that the person you love does not feel the same. The actions in this video serve as a metaphor, and should not be taken literally. I am aware of the power of visual media, and I encourage everyone who watches this video to understand that it is an artistic interpretation of the song, and not something to imitate." -- Bruno Mars

The ending of this video shows him killing himself. That.s why Bruno Mars himself advises his viewers not to imitate the action - but to understand the meaning behind it.

Ah. Why don.t you catch a grenade for me? I promise I.ll do the same for ya :)

Friday, December 03, 2010

Teenage Pregnancy

In IIUM Kuantan, there.s a Seminar session held once a week. Groups of 5 Medic students (2 brothers and 3 sisters) take turn to present their slides for about 2 hours, in front of 140 students and the assigned lecturers for that particular session. The topics vary from one group to another.

This time, it.s Teenage Pregnancy.

Obviously, it is an interesting topic - considering the facts that it involves attractive matters like Marriage, Pregnancy, Abortion and Baby Dumping. 

I don.t know about you but for me, when it comes to sex - it.s always a taboo subject.
The representatives from Group 2 Seminar were all good. They talked like professionals. Proffesors praised them for their efforts and said that there were things that could be slightly improved. 

Like, cutting down the presentation period to less than 2 hours, perhaps? Hehe. You know we all can be easily distracted when the lectures were too long. Plus, it.s almost 4 in the afternoon. That.s the time I usually take a Nap :)

To Farah, Ramzi, Fadhilah, Faqih (thanks King for the correction) and Faezah - nice presentation! I always feel glad when I see people putting their utmost effort into something. Let alone whether it.s a personal stuff that needs to be completed on time or regarding group works. For no solid reason, I feel happy when people take their responsibilities seriously. And do their best to make other people happy as well. If everybody in the world were just like you, then the world would be a very pleasant place to live.

Oh. My Seminar will be in Year 2 Block 4 if I.m not mistaken. The topic.s History of Surgery. Serious and scary stuff, eh?

I am thinking of something creative to be presented during the Seminar.

A live demonstration of surgery from a group of Real Surgeons, perhaps?

Aww. You expect too much from me.

Don.t get your hopes up too high, people. You.ll regret when the real things don't live up to your expectations. 

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Introducing Me

I got to know about this song when I watched 'Camp Rock 2' weeks ago. It is so cool that a guy sings a self-composed song to his favourite girl - a song telling her about himself. In this case, the guy is Nick Jonas. Yes Nick Jonas from Jonas Brothers! Nick! OMG *scream scream*

Okay, a bit of exaggeration there.

BTW, this song is so cool... and romantic :)

ps. Jonas Bothers' Fans, you have to watch Camp Rock 1 and 2. Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato are the stars :)

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

A Crack of Confidence

It.s amazing how a small incidence can actually smash your self-esteem to pieces. As far as I want to deny that fact, well I can.t because experience has taught me a lot. You might try your best to erase the memories, but they keep playing again and again in your mind.

Oh this is not an oh-I-am-so-emotional-post-I-feel-like-crying-now kinda post, mind you. I think I am done with that stuff for now. For now. 

Back to the topic, the shattered self-esteem. 

You might feel down because you think that you are not good enough in handling things. You feel inadequate because you think you have done something wrong. You feel so low because people keep telling you the right thing to do as if what you did were all wrong. You feel something lacking in yourself but you don.t know what is it. You can feel your confidence breaks down and disappear altogether. Your heart hurts. Because you don.t have the courage to defend yourselves against the negative feelings that creep into your heart. You are helpless.

Sayings such as 'You are fat' or 'You are ugly' make things even worse. You want to shout at them as loud as you can, telling them to mind their own business - but you can.t. The damage is done. They have hurt your feelings, what difference does it make to your crushed little pride?

Sometimes when you look at other people, you wonder - Why is he so good? What makes him so special? Why can.t I be like him? How does it feel to be like him? Well it.s not wrong to have thoughts like that. 

Instead, why don.t you ask yourselves - What can I do to be like him?

Yes. You might have a low self esteem. You don.t have The Confidence. You feel low when accidents happen to you. When people talk bad about you. When you don.t do things right. When you feel you are worthless.

But please remind yourselves that it is absolutely normal for humans to feel stress sometimes. Sometimes. But if you feel down all the time, then it.s not exactly a healthy emotion. Major Depression may lead to suicidal attempt, you know. So, please take precautions against such extreme emotion that will do you more harm than good. I believe you don.t want to end up in a Psychiatric Ward for having a Psychotic Disorder complication.

Different person reacts and deals with a certain situation differently. Some people need to listen to music to reduce their stress, some people eat excessively, playing computer games or even resort to sleeping all day in order to restore the balance of stress. I believe the same equation can be applied to increase your self-esteem.

You might want to forget the triggers that make you feel loss of confidence in the first place. How to do that? Simple. Do something else to distract you from thinking about it. Make yourself happy so that you can forget the sad things. Read books, go for a walk, cooking, whatever - as long as you are feeling content with yourselves.

You might want to try wearing a rubber band (getah) at your wrist as a preventive measure to avoid yourself being angry at small insignificant things. When someone makes you feel angry or you feel like your confidence is slowly degrading , then you pull the band to the max, and let it go immediately. Trust me, it is so painful that it can actually make you forget the humiliation suffered before. tried it before and surprisingly, it worked.