Wednesday, December 01, 2010

A Crack of Confidence

It.s amazing how a small incidence can actually smash your self-esteem to pieces. As far as I want to deny that fact, well I can.t because experience has taught me a lot. You might try your best to erase the memories, but they keep playing again and again in your mind.

Oh this is not an oh-I-am-so-emotional-post-I-feel-like-crying-now kinda post, mind you. I think I am done with that stuff for now. For now. 

Back to the topic, the shattered self-esteem. 

You might feel down because you think that you are not good enough in handling things. You feel inadequate because you think you have done something wrong. You feel so low because people keep telling you the right thing to do as if what you did were all wrong. You feel something lacking in yourself but you don.t know what is it. You can feel your confidence breaks down and disappear altogether. Your heart hurts. Because you don.t have the courage to defend yourselves against the negative feelings that creep into your heart. You are helpless.

Sayings such as 'You are fat' or 'You are ugly' make things even worse. You want to shout at them as loud as you can, telling them to mind their own business - but you can.t. The damage is done. They have hurt your feelings, what difference does it make to your crushed little pride?

Sometimes when you look at other people, you wonder - Why is he so good? What makes him so special? Why can.t I be like him? How does it feel to be like him? Well it.s not wrong to have thoughts like that. 

Instead, why don.t you ask yourselves - What can I do to be like him?

Yes. You might have a low self esteem. You don.t have The Confidence. You feel low when accidents happen to you. When people talk bad about you. When you don.t do things right. When you feel you are worthless.

But please remind yourselves that it is absolutely normal for humans to feel stress sometimes. Sometimes. But if you feel down all the time, then it.s not exactly a healthy emotion. Major Depression may lead to suicidal attempt, you know. So, please take precautions against such extreme emotion that will do you more harm than good. I believe you don.t want to end up in a Psychiatric Ward for having a Psychotic Disorder complication.

Different person reacts and deals with a certain situation differently. Some people need to listen to music to reduce their stress, some people eat excessively, playing computer games or even resort to sleeping all day in order to restore the balance of stress. I believe the same equation can be applied to increase your self-esteem.

You might want to forget the triggers that make you feel loss of confidence in the first place. How to do that? Simple. Do something else to distract you from thinking about it. Make yourself happy so that you can forget the sad things. Read books, go for a walk, cooking, whatever - as long as you are feeling content with yourselves.

You might want to try wearing a rubber band (getah) at your wrist as a preventive measure to avoid yourself being angry at small insignificant things. When someone makes you feel angry or you feel like your confidence is slowly degrading , then you pull the band to the max, and let it go immediately. Trust me, it is so painful that it can actually make you forget the humiliation suffered before. tried it before and surprisingly, it worked.

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