Saturday, June 01, 2013

Love?

Today is my  group's turn for On Call, from 8am till 12pm. In surgery posting, we have to attend two On Calls every week. That is, from 5pm till 10pm. To stay in the hospital from 8am till 10pm is really tiring. You feel exhausted every time you go back home. But of course, you learned a lot. I usually spent my time reading case notes during my On Call time.

It is so hard to find motivation to go on when you are this busy. You have to be strong and organise your time wisely. Be positive!! (I keep telling myself that, be positive, be positive - but in reality, am I doing it?)

My two classmates will be married in Kedah today. I cant go because I have my On Call and my parents are away, so I have to stay at home with my sisters. Hmmm getting married at 23 years old, how does it feel like?

Some people say that love is easy but some say it is hard. Of course it is easy when you have found the right someone, but it can be complicated at times. Even if you feel that he is the right one for you, but how can you know that for sure? How can you know that he will make you happy until the end of your life? How can you possibly know whether he will be by your side when you need him or not? You cant. You just have to trust yourself and trust him. And of course, God knows what is best for you. Keep praying.

I am not the expert to talk about love, because I dont have much experience on this field. But if you ask me what love is, I would say that it is these various strong emotions you feel for someone. Like when he is sad, you feel like giving him a hug and tell him everything would be okay. When he looks tired, you would want him to get enough rest and go to bed early at night. When he is happy and is on a good mood, you dont say anything that will make him feel unhappy. You share his joy.

When he is away going on a trip, you let him have his fun even though you feel like wanting to spend time with him. When he talks about a girl that he really likes, you pretend that you dont feel anything even though your heart aches and you almost break into tears. When he tells you stories about a certain matter that he thinks is funny, you go along with it even though you dont feel like that at all. When he needs time to have fun with his friends, you give him space even though you want him to be with you. When he mentions about his ex-girlfriend, you just say okay and smile even though you feel so jealous that he and his ex had shared many memories together.

Love is when you really care about him and wanting him to live a long, happy and better life. Even if it is not with you. You think about what are the things that are best for him. Even if it doesnt involve you. You support him to achieve his dreams. You help him in every way you can. You make time for him. You give him your very best. But whats important is, you TRUST him.

Now who says love is easy? Hahaha.

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