I was having conversation with my Mom (and my Dad, though his attention was more focused on his smartphone) over dinner regarding the hot topic - potential husband. She asked me about this one guy in my class that she thought that I should 'get to know'. I told her that I don't think that the guy is available, maybe he already has a girlfriend, maybe he is engaged. To be honest, I have no idea about the guy's relationship status, I was just hoping that my Mom would stop talking about pairing me up with him because I am not into him at all - I am pretty sure I am not his type either.
Then my Mom said, 'So what, if he's engaged? He is still available'.
As soon as I heard that, I was like, 'Whatt? You cannot disturb someone else's fiance!'
I don't know about you, but for me - that is soo wrong. Totally wrong. It is morally unacceptable for a girl (or woman, since we are all adults here, ehem ehem) to be the third person in a certain relationship. I certainly don't want to do that!!
I have heard stories from a close friend of mine regarding this matter, and boy I was so mad! You do know that the guy is already engaged, why on earth are you still chasing after him, and going out with him some more? Okay sure, so you have had history with the guy before, but duhh. He is going to be MARRIED soon - not to you, that's for sure. So move alongg!
When my Mom said things like that, I suddenly remembered about that friend of mine. She's really tough and patient, still being loyal to the guy, even when he broke her heart so many times before. If it were me, I will totally leave him! If he wants to be with the girl so bad, then go be with her! It's either her, or me.
Personally, I think it's always the girl's fault. If we girls be good, and don't go flirting with a guy who is already engaged, then nothing bad will happen. If we girls be good, then the guy will behave and focus on his fiance, his future life. If we girls be good, then there is no such thing as divorce cases and family fights. Unless if the guy is a jay ee ar kay, then of course, separation is unevitable.
The same goes to a guy with a girlfriend. Try not to bother them. I know it's hard, when you really really really like the guy. But hey, try your best okay! An occasional hi and checking up on each other is fine, but not too frequent. An email like once a month is okay, I think. He is like you too, wants to find a life partner, have cute kids and wonderful family, so please be more understanding, okay. Do you think it's easy to find someone that you can call your girlfriend? No it's not! It's as difficult as you trying to find a boyfriend! So, when he finally have someone whom he can call a girlfriend, you...be good! Don't bother him!
Okay got it. Now can we move on?
So back to the story. Few days ago, I got a message from my Mom asking about the guy's full name. And that whether it is okay if she wants to check him out, for me. Like, she wants to ask people (or relative) around whether he is single or not.
I felt like screaming, 'NOO, CAN'T YOU TELL THAT I DON'T LIKE HIM??! I DONT LIKE HIMM!!'
But of course, I didnt do that. What are you, crazy? Heaven lies at the feet of your mother, haven't you heard?
So I texted my Mom back, saying properly that there's no need to do that, I don't like him, he's my classmate and I know what he is like, and I don't like him.
I made sure that she got the 'I don't like him' part clearly. Yeah I think she got the point since she never mention about him anymore.
It's not like I dont want my Mom to find a husband for me, but her taste is totally different than mine - and my sister's. My eldest sister and I talked about this too, and she agreed. We are not very religious, so we definitely are not looking for an 'ustaz' or a husband who is too close-minded. And my sister, she wants one whom she can respect, supportive and understanding. She wants to keep working even when she's married. She doesn't like the idea of staying at home, taking care of husband.
Unlike me, well - I am more of a family-oriented kind of person. I very much love the idea of taking care of the household and do house work, preparing meals for your family, taking care of your husband and kids. I don't mind that. Even if my husband doesn't allow me to work, I will gladly follow. If my husband wants me to move out of Malaysia - yeah I can do that too. Hahahaha. When you are married, your heaven is now beneath your husband's feet.
However, if your husband is messing around and not respecting you as a wife, heaven or no heaven - you can kick his eh es es.
Oh well. Enough of that. I have to go do some work.
You...have a good dayy! And be good!! :D