Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Upset. Angry.

My dad, my mom, my little sister and I were having dinner at the table. My mom commented on how lazy I had been for these past few months. She was thinking of how good it would be if I spend more time in the kitchen, do more cooking and baking - like I always did before.

I told her that since I am already in my final year, I am thinking of focusing more on my studies. My dad agreed with me, saying that my mom should be more understanding, and that I have other important things to do. I was so happy and hugged my dad, just to irritate my mom hahaha

My mom said that you can't always be studying 24 hours a day, you have to have time to relax and do other work. And then, she looked at my dad, saying that next time when we are having this conversation, my dad should agree with her opinion. There can't be any different views between them on dealing with children. My dad and I laughed.

My dad then pretended to scold me, telling me to go cook in the kitchen, don't always study bla bla bla. Then my mom said that guys (referring to my dad) cannot be trusted to handle the children and the house, what if my mom dies some days, who is going to take care of us all? And then my dad replied, I can always find another woman to take care of that. Ouch.

Then my mom said, then I can also marry other guy if you die later. My dad answered back, yes you can do that. The difference is that I can still marry other woman even if you are alive. I have three more (referring to polygamy).

Oh boy. Although my dad was talking casually and smiling, I could tell that my mom was hurt by that statement. She was silent.

I then quickly started a conversation with my little sister, asking her about cats and stuff. After a while, my dad went out for prayer, and my mom joined us talking. She was smiling and laughing again.

Towards the end, she mentioned that she likes to be silent when she feels upset when dealing with my dad. When my dad gets home later, she will then pinch him on his butt, and tell him that she is mad at him. Hahahahhaa I love my mom.

She always gives us advice, reminding us the dos and don'ts and all things proper. She is strict at times, but we all know it's for good reason. She is the one who keeps our family together. She is so patient. I was thinking, what if I were to be in that situation, and my husband jokingly mentions that he wants to get married again, what would I do? Start a fight? Or sulk all day long?

For me, polygamy is a sensitive issue. You can't just talk about it lightly. Yes, it is true that Islam allows polygamy. I am not against it. I just don't like it. Just like I don't like spiders. Or people who smoke.

Speaking of it, I remember this one time when a friend of mine lighted up his cigarette when we were walking down the street. I never ever approve of smoking. But in his case, I had to act like I didn't care because he was helping me out with something. He thought that smoking is not harmful to health. He compared it with air pollution and smoke from vehicles. He said things like he is a fit guy, always go to the gym, his lungs are of good condition and he did not think that smoking is haram.

It was up to the point that I said, okay fine do whatever you want it's your life if you want to keep smoking then do it. I bit my lips from talking because I was worried that I might say things that I would come to regret later, or that I might offend him. But mainly because I was upset. Really upset.

Even our prophet Muhammad pbuh said that if we feel angry at someone, keep our silence. Walk away from him. If we are standing, sit down. If we are sitting, lie down. If that doesn't work, go take ablution and pray.

Random photo from Mr.Google.

Moral of the story : Keep calm and be happy. Okay?

Wahh it's late! This is what happens when you haven't been writing for a while. Hahahaha

Have a good dayy people! :D 

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